I Was | Bullied and Depressed

Behind these smiles, there were sadness and struggles

Time to get personal with y'all

To be honest,
I was being bullied. Physically, Socially, Verbally. Or even Cyberbullied.
All forms of bullying. I have been through all of that for THREE freaking YEARS [insane!]
Calling me names such as "plastic surgery" - "attention seeker" - "two-timer" - "slxt"
Saying that I am too dumb to even go to Science Stream or even University
Insulting me by using all of my past behaviours including bringing up my family into this
You name it.

How did I even survived back then...?
I wonder too.

I was too young, too scared that I kept everything to myself.
Leading me to living with fear
Cried every single night
Keep thinking negatively - feeling as it is useless for me to live anymore
Depressed.
Grades dropped.
Nearly giving up.
'Nothing that I can do about to stop this'
That was what I thought back then.

The worst part is
Rumours spread
I was a "bad influence" to every single one of you.
Even teachers find faults in me.
They made me quit the school.
This is not the only thing I had to struggle with
I had family issues during that time
It was just horrible.

A year passed.
Everything was so different even the country that I was living in
No one knew me - which makes me want to change myself
Trying my best to forget about the past
"Hard but you can overcome this, Nazurah"
Positivity kicks in which improves my attitude towards studying
Good grades climbing up
Yet
Some people just want to ruin that happiness
Where they say 'such an easy syllable that's why easy for you to get A'
But
I ignored it and kept moving forward
Because I did not see the point of me backing myself out for those axxholes

     - If I did, I would only ruin my own life because of them

                                    Which makes them happy -

Guess what?
I have proved them wrong.
I can proudly say that I am in Monash University Australia [Caulfield Campus]
Taking Bachelor of Public Health Science - fyi, I will be in my 2nd Year in 2 weeks' time YAY
Not only did I proved them wrong for not letting me take Science subject during my middle school
But also proving them that even thought I was bullied, I did not give up

Moral of the Story
Ignore what others say or think of you
Start thinking what you think of yourself
Do not talk back to them cause if you do, you are just the same as them
Instead
Keep quiet and prove them wrong through your actions
Well
Action speaks louder than words, you know?
Most importantly, do not give up on yourself just because of those hurtful words that they say
Think of it this way
'They are just jealous of you'
That's what my mama always says to me
Keep moving forward
Another thing that you can do is
To start making yourself busy so that you will not have time to think of what others say about you
As for me
I tend to do colouring whenever I feel down, stressed or even depressed
This actually helps me to calm myself down
Or
I will go for workout
Or
Chill by the beach and have the time for myself

L A S T L Y
If you are experiencing similar situation as mine,
Just remember
YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS JOURNEY!
I am not an expert in this area BUT if you need someone,
I AM HERE FOR YOU.

Yours Truly,

Nazurah Aurora

XOXO